Bah Humbug

I cannot get into the Christmas spirit this year. Not sure why. It seems others are not either though so what is the deal?

On another note I have a question I guess or a thought to ponder. A lot of people get up in arms about calling a party at this time of year a Holiday Party instead of a Christmas party or the White House calling it a Holiday Tree instead of a Christmas Tree. Why is this? Is it that terrible. Where David works there are people from around the world. Not all of them are Christian so why should we not just call it a Holiday Party and encompass everyone. Will it really hurt anything. I know people who are so offended by this though and refuse to call it a Holiday Party. No one is saying that in your own home you have to call it that but when you are a country or company that has many different people with different beliefs I think you need to be a little considerate. Maybe you don't have to call is a Holiday Tree but instead have a Menorah too. I am not sure what the answer is but why is it that in a time where we are suppose to be more caring and giving we complain about so much. The party I went to would have been the same no matter what the name of it was. I guess this year more then any I think about because two of Ainsley's friends are Jewish. I would hate for her class to have called it a "Christmas" Party and make those girls feel left out. This is just what I am thinking but maybe someone else has a different way of thinking that would change my mind.

Rambling

No balance in my life these days. I have not posted in forever. Of course since I use my other blog as a journal for the kids I will have to go back and catch up which seems really overwhelming so I put it off.

I keep thinking that I should have everything done in the house by now but I do not. It was much harder to move to a new state then down the street. Last time we moved I was pregnant with Ainsley. There were no kids to worry about. We did not try to take on painting the whole house when we moved in. I also did not have to find all new things including doctors. That part is no fun. I have luckily found doctors that I think are good so far. We have decided to go to the hospital for our doctors. I have never done that before but it is nice if you have to have any tests they are right there. Boulder is pretty small so I think most people go to the hospital. Anyway back to the painting it is not done. I wanted it to all be done before the furniture was moved in but as always we do it our self so because David is always busy at work it did not get down. So we are trying to paint around the furniture. There is also a ton of trim to do and that is no fun. The walls in some rooms go up really high to so it is a two person job in those areas.

Someday it will be done. Someday my office will be nice and clean too, hopefully. Everything seemed to get stacked in here in order to clean the rest of the house. This is probably part of the reason I have not posted because it is really hard to get to my computer and not fun for sitting at it for a while trying to post.

Enough rambling and hopefully I will continue to get back to something beside cleaning all the time. That seems to be my life for the last year.

I have to say it is a different lifestyle here. My car is always dirty because we live on a dirt road. No use cleaning it either because it will just be dirty two days later. The good thing is usually the speed cameras and toll roads cannot charge you because they cannot read the license plate. I know that is terrible but not much I can do unless I choose to clean my car every time I go to Boulder. Everything seems a little more laid back here. I though Arizona was kind of laid back but it is more so here. Also I must park at the end of the driveway when it snows.

One last thing on my random rambling rant, now that I have got back into it maybe my future post will be better. David and I went to go look at cars this weekend. We are not buying right now but we will. We went to Subaru. Never would have thought of one before but that is what everyone drives here and there is a good reason. They are all wheel drive. They also have an option where you can have it be manual or automatic. Great feature in the mountains. We were not sure what we wanted and don't know a lot about Subaru so we wanted someone to tell us about them. Give us the difference between the car. The guy we got said well it is just preference and really they just look different on the outside. You are kidding me right. He was the worst sales man ever. We decided to test drive one and he let us go by our self. This is probably the only time that we have wanted someone to come with us to tell us more about the car. When we got back he was not there, we waited 10 minutes and left. I said when we buy we need to have someone else help us and then do the whole Julia Roberts thing and tell him what a big mistake he make not helping us. I know people don't want to help you if you are not set to buy that day but we will buy and we will not buy from him. Maybe he was just being laid back and trying not to pressure but I really wanted to know key differences in the cars. I find it hard to believe that just the body style is different. I did finally get a few things out of him but nothing great. Maybe they don't care here because everyone buys a Subaru so maybe they are not hurting. Sadly enough it is just another comment on how customer service has gone way down hill over the years. In some ways I don't blame people. Companies are not loyal to their employees and overwork them and employees are not loyal to employers. There is no pride in work anymore for many reasons and it is really sad I think. It is hard though to have pride in your work when you are being overworked and looked over.

It is a sad time all over for many reasons and I have no idea what the fix is or if there is one.
It seems people have become more judgemental and divided then ever before. I know I have learned a lot this year and I am trying harder then I ever have before not to judge people unless I have been in there shoes. You never know how you will act in certain situations until you are there. You can only say what you hope you would do.

A Story To Make You Angry and Sad

I just read a story on AZ Central that makes me sick. An eight year old girl was lured with chewing gum to a shed where four boys attacked her and raped her. Her parents, who are from Africa, shunned her. They told authorities to keep her that she had shamed their family. WHAT!!!! I have heard this before that many cultures blame the women. This is terrible. She is an eight year old girl who was attacked and her parents have sent her away as easily as they would their garbage. Shame on those parents and they should also be prosecuted, in my mind, for abandonment. Now my ranting in done but I really don't feel better.

Two Weeks. What???

I just realized that the movers are coming in two weeks. To say that I am stressed would be an understatement. You would think that having someone move you would be easy but the fact that I am still living here for a few weeks after presents some problems with that. Also there are somethings that I don't want them to take I would rather do it. The problem is I have not figured out yet what all of that is. May happens to be one of the busiest months in general and then throw in a move. Yikes. I also am trying to remember all the things that I need to change my address with. Yuck!

Think I should rename my blog....

Seeking Balance. Balance is not something I am good at. I seem to focus on one thing at a time and it becomes all consuming. If my focus is on the kids I neglect the house and myself and everything. If my focus is on cleaning the house I lose focus on the kids. I need to find that balance somewhere, somehow.

I started out at the beginning of the year seeing a nutritionist. I liked him. He first had me exercise 2 1/2 hours a week no more then 40 mins a day. I was ok with that. He had me take a super B complex. It is 3 pills a day but I can do that. I am taking 3 fish oil pills a day, I can do that. I take Melatonin and another natural relaxer at night to help me sleep, still no problem. I had to make sure I was getting 20 g of fiber a day, no problem. No snacking 3 hours before bed, I conquered this bad habit. Eat ever 3 hours, a little difficult but I did it. When I walked in there and he said that I needed to cut out all sugar after 5 everyday at least 5 days a week. This includes breads, pastas, beans, fruit, ect. I could only have pasta 2 times a month. I was aloud 2 slices a bread a day or one large tortilla or one bagel. So if I had a sandwich for lunch no tortilla for dinner although technically I was not aloud to have that for dinner anyway because it was after 5. I did this for 1 1/2 weeks. I was pretty successful at it. I lost 3 pounds. I then went to Puerto Vallarta. I have not been back to see him since and am no longer on that diet. In fact I have pretty much fallen off the band wagon for exercise too. Balance. If only I could find it here also. I know I cannot keep up is strict diet but it did make me more aware of what I was eating and I think I could do a modification of it and keep up the exercise but stress in my life has gotten worse and so I did not keep up with it because I gave into the stress and have gone back to sitting in front of the TV at night snacking.

The good news is that when I went back to the doctor for my new blood tests they had all gotten better. Not great, but better and she was pleased. So I had not done as good as I could have the whole time and it still got better so think what would have happened if I would have continued to exercise and a modification of his diet. I even went to Puerto Vallart and Colorado in this time and did not eat well either place.

I am going to try and commit myself to finding more balance in Colorado. I would attempt it now but I don't think that is going to happen. I must find it somehow, somewhere. So for now on this blog with be know as Seeking Balance.

To Public?

Are we to public with everything these days? I just read that Ashely Simpson twitters or twits or whatever it is love notes to her husband while he is gone on tour. David and I write notes to each other on Face Book. Why do we do this. We could IM or e-mail or call and no one would see. Im would be faster and e-mail is pretty much the same as Face Book it just matters when the other person chooses to look at it. So why have we gone to such public displays? We all blog and put personal things there also. I also do the other so people cannot see everything but why do I put some at there?

Is this a good or bad thing? I go back an forth. I like it. I like to blog. I like to do Face Book. I do get concerned about what I put out there sometimes. Sometimes I put it out anyway and sometimes I don't. I did separate my blogs so that some of the more controversial stuff was not in the same place. So is it bad or is it good and does anyone even read this blog anymore? Just wondering

Makes You Stop To Think.....

...how precious life is and how you never know what tomorrow will bring. This made me so sad this week. It was heart breaking to me. The strange thing is if you would have asked me who Natasha Richardson was last week I would not have know. I now I have seen her in movies but really never knew her name or who she was married to. It was not until this week that I knew anything about her. Why is it so upsetting to me then? I think because she is a mother and wife and fairly young and it was such a freak accident. Everyone has had such wonderful things to say about this women and she is obviously beautiful. Maybe it also got to me because she was taking ski lessons. Soon myself, David, Ainsley, and Abby will all be doing the same thing. The first response is to say skiing is so dangerous. The thing is head injuries can happen anywhere. You can trip and fall and have the same thing happen. I cannot tell you the countless time I have hit my head hard and stopped and wondered for a minute how bad that was. My kids have hit their heads countless times. Some that I have come close to tears because they hit so hard it scarred me beyond belief. I have only once taken Ainsley in for hitting her head. When we got there they kind of blew us off. By then it had been several hours and she was acting fine. There has been a lot in the news lately about head injuries after her accident and many, like Natasha can act fine for awhile and then go down hill fast. Although more then likely most are fine, I hear a story several times a year about someone dying after heating their head. I try to put it out of my mind and try not to be a hypochondriac about things but after hearing these things it makes you more paranoid. I wonder how many more people will go in for hitting there head, at least for a while, after this. Regardless it is very sad for her family and I feel for those two boys of hers.

The Octoplets

I cannot understand this women. I don't think she is out for fame and fortune like some do. I think she is just obsessed with having children. I just cannot imagine wanting to have so many children. I am a stay at home mom and sometimes don't feel like I have enough time with the two girls. To have 14 children. Eight all the same age. She already had six at home that are between 2 and 7. Just the thought of all that overwhelms me. I am trying so hard these days not to judge. I still do, I am human, but I am trying to stop myself and say hey I don't know what it is like to be in their shoes and they don't know what it is like to me in mine. Having said that, I want to know what is this women thinking. I am sure she is a good Mom but how can she continue to be one with all of this. She has no husband or partner. She has a Mom who has publicly said she is tired and upset with her Daughter. She has no means to pay for these kids. I don't get it. I don't know why someone would do this. So yes, in this case I am judging her and I do feel bad for it, but really. Fourteen kids, all biological, under the age of seven. It seems a little selfish to me. I think her kids and her parents are going to suffer, I hope they don't, but I don't see how they won't.

Update

I got my landend catalog today and I did have a wide range of ages in the catalog. Apparently it was just a fluke before and they don't actually market by age group. Just in case anyone is interested.

I have a Life Coach....

So I went to the nutritionist today or as he calls himself a Life Coach. Look at me I have a Life Coach. Really I guess he can call himself that. He has a degree in psychology, he went to Culinary School, was a Body Builder and Trainer, has a degree in something related to Asthma and Allergy, a Degree in Nutrition, and I am sure more that I am leaving out.

I have never want to go to a nutritionist for fear of what they will say.

Cut out this.

Exercise more.

Don't do that.

I was very surprised by this experience. He first asked me about my life and what was going on. What it was I wanted to do. He then only gave two things to work on for the next week. First, exercise for 2 1/2 hours per week. It does not matter what I do or how fast I do it. I can walk around the park at a slow pace if I want. It has to be for 20 min at least to count. I cannot count more the 45 min in a day. Second, eat ever three hours starting from within an hour of when I get up and quit two to three hours before bed. That was eat for now. He will add more next time. I said to start slow or you will quit. He is right I would.

The bad part of this is this seems so simple and I have already blown it. I will try harder tomorrow. I was on track. I was going to eat again and 4. Then of course a Girl Scout thing happened and it is now 9:46 and I have not had dinner and really I should quit eating as of right now but I realize I am starving. Hopefully I will do better tomorrow. I guess I just have to. I have not taken good care of my body lately so I will just have to make the time. The other thing, which Matt had already said to me, was take fish oil pills. It is suppose to be really great for heart issues. I also know someone who took it for joint issues. We will see. I really don't want to go on medicine if I can help it and I would like to loss some wait. I still have not lost all the weight from Abby. She is 4 1/2. So I am trying a Life Coach.

On a side note he use to live in Boulder and owned a restaurant on the same street David's current office is. Small world but that is for another post. For me it is getting smaller by the minute.

Welcome President Obama, Goodbye George Bush

I thought about trying to find one of him from the front but I
really like this picture. Wow!

As I was watching the Inauguration yesterday I was wishing I had kept Ainsley home from school to watch it. I did find out that they got to see it at school, which was good but I think it might have been fun to have her with me. Abby did not watch it she watched a movie instead. I was thinking as I was watching that I was not quite six when Regan was Inaugurated and I remember watching it. I remember thinking this is something really important. I was thinking how funny it was that I would remember this. I wonder if Ainsley will remember this one, although I am sure she does not realized the significance of this particular Inauguration.

I was very moved by it all. As I watched it seemed that President Obama looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He seemed much more somber to me then most times. I am sure become President of the US must be a very overwhelming thing. I started to think that really he does have the weight of the world on his shoulders. Everyone is expecting so much from him. I worry that people are expecting to much. The are wanting him to be some sort of savior and although I like him and am hopeful it cannot be done in a short amount of time. Are we setting this man up for a fall? Have we raised him up so high there is no way to go but down? I hope not.

I also found myself a little disappointed in myself and others. I did not like President Bush. Unlike any other in my life time I could not support him. I cringed when he spoke. That is a terrible thing. I think about that now when I hear everyone telling people to give Obama a chance and get behind him even if you did not vote for him. I did not do that for George Bush so how can I expect them to do it for Obama, but I hope they will. I also was very disappointed when I heard many people boo George Bush. I did not hear that but the reports said it happened. That is terrible in this setting to boo the outgoing President. I do not remember this but I also heard that after his first election he could not even get out of the car to walk in the parade because people were throwing eggs at the car. First of all if this is true then how good is the Secret Service but also how terrible that we, as a country, can be so mean spirited. On the other hand how great that we can live in a country and boo our President without the fear of death.

p.s. I was also thinking about my cousin who was probably freezing to death in that crowd of people but I am sure it was worth it.

Webkinz Thinks Abby is Offensive

So after the whole Brownie thing I never did put any of Abby's Webkinz in. She got one for Christmas and I promised her we would do it. She got a pink and white pony. I asked her to think of a name. She came up with Peekaboo. Guess what? It is offensive. I thought both kids were going to drive me insane.

Why does it not work?
What is wrong with it?
Abby just come up with another name. (said by Ainsley to her)
I don't want to.

So I thought it was boo that was the problem. I could not see anything else with it and maybe because a lot of people are against Halloween that was what stood out to me. So we decide the best way to spell it and we put in Peekabu.

Still offensive.

What????

So I started at it and thought I will try Peakaboo.

It worked.

Guess what you cannot have in a name? The word pee.

Whatever. I think I hate Webkinz. Abby now has a Webkinz in the system named Peakaboo.

All is good again.

Diving Back In

It is hard once you stop something to get back into it or least it is for me. The one day I skip exercise it is usually over. I think missing one day won't hurt and maybe two is ok. Same thing with blogging I guess. I got busy and just never got back to it. I have thought about many things to blog about but no time, no motivation. Well it is the new year and I need to get some motivation on all fronts.

I went to the Doctor today for a follow up on all my tests from my Physical. I have high cholesterol and my Carotid Artery is thickening. I also have heart palpitations and am not sleeping well. I apparently am five years cardiovascularly older then I should be. So I ate a little healthier today. It took me forever to decide what to eat today. I also went on a bike ride pulling Abby behind me in the trailer. I am on a roll so I thought why not sit down and write something.

The thing I have to say frustrated me about the doctor today is when I brought up the heart palpitations and the sleeping and some anxiety(I wonder why I have all that) she was not very comforting but I don't know what I expected. She said if I cannot function then she would put me on pills. If I was concerned about my heart she would send me to cardio. The thing is I really think it is situational stress. It will be gone in six months or less. I don't know if I need to see the cardio person that is why I brought it up to her since she has the degree in Medicine she can tell me if I need to see a cardio person. If I knew the answer I would have bipassed her and seen a cardio person. She also said I could see a counselor to figure out why I am so anxious. Did she not just hear me say I was trying to sell a house, find a new one, and that my husband now lives in Co and I am here with the kids felling like I am limbo. I don't belong here, I don't belong there. Apparently for her that was nothing to be anxious over. Again though what did I expect from her. I am not exercising, I eat terrible, and I drink way to much caffeine. There is my answer.

Here is to a happier, healthier New Year!

Maybe Some Names Should Just Not Be Used

Another interesting article. A name is just a name and does not mean that you will be that person but why would you do that to your child when it still brings up so much pain for many people?

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2008/12/17/20081217HitlerCake1217.html

If you are happy I should not judge and if you are not happy I should not judge either

Lately or I guess I should say ever since I decided to stay home with my children I have heard many debates on staying home vs. working and having children. I know I made comments about Sarah Palin and wondered about the Obama kids but I think that came more from the kids being in the public eye and the kind of jobs their parents have more then if they should work or not. There was the big thing recently about Napolitano and how someone said she will be perfect for Homeland Security because she has no family but yet no one had questioned a man being in there with family. More and more dads I know are staying home with the kids and the mothers are working. I have seen studies that say it is better to have a parent stay home with their kids but is it really true. Even though I stay home there are still days when my kids have said why are you always busy. We are all so quick to judge people on what they do. I don't know if any one way is better, I think it is a personal thing for each family and their decisions should be respected. I think no matter what people do we need to start asking more questions like are you happy with what you are doing and less why are you doing that.

16 years old dating a 20 year old

I have not heard that Miley Cyrus has confirmed a relationship with Justin Gaston but it seems like they are together. She just turned 16 and he is 20. I am pretty open to a lot of things but this one seems weird. There is a huge difference between 16 and 20. She could be wise beyond her years but still there is a difference. If they are not dating I still think it is weird that a 20 year old man is hanging around all the time with a 16 year old girl. Just my two cents.

Is this offensive or all in good spirit of Thanksgiving?

I am interested in people views on this story.

Unbelievably Troubling and Sad

By now I am sure most have heard of the eight year old boy that killed his father and father's friend. This case is very troubling and sad to me. Many think he did not do it and was coerced into confessing. A lot of the facts don't add up. Either way it just is not good. If he did not do it how horrible that the police have put an eight year old boy through this. Really he is just a little older then Ainsley and I just cannot imagine. If he did do it that brings to light so many more questions. It is just terrible.

Signs

Driving from my parents house the other day I noticed many things.

First political signs. Do these really do any good and I feel like there are so many all over. It might be ok if they were only around every four years but where I live it seems like there are always signs up for some kind of election. I don't like them.
It seems like there were foreclosure signs on every corner. Our Realtor told us that 2/3 of the house here are either foreclosures of short sells. Wow!
I also saw a going out of business sign on every corner. I cannot believe how many stores are closing. It is very nerve racking to drive home.
Besides the Campaign signs the other things I don't like to see is Christmas lights put up right after Halloween. Why do we skip Thanksgiving. I know there are no great outside decorations for Thanksgiving but come on putting them up the day after Halloween. I love Christmas just as much as everyone else and the day after Thanksgiving mine will go up but not before.




I thought this was kind of interesting. Look at the next two pictures and see what you notice.

Both pictures are the same jacket from the same company out of their catalogs. The interesting part it the top pictures with the younger model was the catalog sent to my house and the second picture with the older model was sent to my mom's house. There is not a single women with gray hair in my catalog and in her catalog at least half the models had gray hair. Do they really have our ages and sent these catalogs out specifically? Interesting.


The reason I even noticed this was I wanted to get a winter coat for me. I have not bought a heavy winter coat since I was 14 or 15. So it has been awhile. I just wanted to get a simple casual coat. I opened up my Lands End catalog and picked something.I thought it was cute, casual, and would be warm. So I called my cousin to ask her what she thought. She did not have a catalog and so this is what she saw.
She forbid me from wearing this coat and said it would make me old before my time. I admit it did not look as good online. If you are wondering here is the same coat in my Mom's catalog.
I have to admit I liked it even less in this last picture. It is amazing to me how different the same coat can look depending on how it is shot and I guess the model. Don't get me wrong I am not saying I don't like the last one because she is older but they do have it on her different. Marketing, very interesting or maybe cleaver, I don't know.

Make sure to vote on the poll on my other blog regarding this last part.

More Whining

We were suppose to have our house carpeted Friday, they called and changed it to today. That was fine it just meant that I had to bust my but yesterday to get everything but the furniture moved out of the rooms. There was a lot packed into the spare bedroom and the playroom. The spare bedroom is used partially as storage too. As I was stripping the last bed this morning they called to say the installer had an abscessed tooth and could not come today and hopefully he would be able to come tomorrow or maybe Saturday. Usually I would have felt sorry for the guy and said that. I would have said I hope you feel better. When his boss called I would have said I understand whenever he can come then have him come. I could not muster up any of this and I was probably rude on the phone. I really did not say much to the installer but hello and buy. When his boss called he said do you want to have us do it tomorrow or wait until Friday I said given the fact that everything is out all over the place, I have young children, and I had just stripped all the beds this morning before he called I would like it done as soon as possible in my not so nice tone. I am annoyed. Especially because it is a pain in the but for carpet I really don't get to enjoy. It is not the worst thing that can happen to me I know and I know things come up that you cannot do anything about. I never yelled, I never said mean things, I just did not have a nice tone and for once I don't care. I am in a mood this week and I am staying that way and right now his abscessed tooth is not my problem. So hopefully they will come tomorrow but who knows.

Next week I will also feel bad about the clerk in payless yesterday but today I don't care. We went in to get Abby a second new pair of ballet shoes in two months time. She grew out of the others. They seemed fine in the store but within a few weeks they were already extremely small on her. It was late and I just wanted to gets shoes and leave in five minutes. We get in there and Ainsley starts running all over the store trying to find something to measure her feet with even though I had asked her to stay next to me. When I was trying on Abby shoes she was dancing all around and then ran off as soon as they were on. This is when the clerk enters. I know she does not know I am having a bad week. I know it is not her fault, I never yelled at her, I just had my annoyed tone. She asked if she could measure the kids feet. No Thank you especially because I am pretty sure that Abby's feet would measure and 8 1/2 and I bought 9 1/2 ballet shoes, I don't believe in measuring my kids feet because all shoes are different these days. It is clear by now I am not happy with my kids and I am in a hurry but she continues to engage my kids in a conversation. She might be trying to help but really I just wanted her to leave me alone so I could get out of there. So I will be sorry next week that I was rude to her and sometimes I wish we could wear signs. It would help my husband and also many store clerks. It would say I am having a bad day, don't talk to me, it will not end well. It would be nice to have that sign that says please talk to my kids I need a distraction. How about that one that says I am trying to teach my kids a lesson just go along with what I say.

I know that my life is amazing compared to many. Times are very tough right now and I feel incredibly lucky to be in the position I am in. I know it when I hear about the military family that has been trying to do a short sell on their house for a year and cannot get out of it. He was deployed and she with her young kids was sent to the city he was stationed out of and they will not help them get out of their house here. He is putting his life at risk and they bail out lots of other people but not them. I know I am lucky when everywhere I go people are talking about how they were laid off and trying to look for work and how terrible unemployment pay is. I know I am lucky when I hear about all the people who are really sick and their prognosis is not good. I know this but I am taking a week to feel sorry for myself and then I will get back to trying to have a positive attitude.